Most Christian parents can quote Proverbs 22:6:
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
And, I’ve seen many of these same parents carefully teach their children about God. But, here’s the crazy part: I’ve also seen many of these same parents train their children in the exact opposite way that they teach them. There is a difference between teaching and training.
Obviously, in this post, we are not talking about you or me so let’s refer to the anonymous “they” for these short examples.
They teach their children that they must respect and obey God’s Word.
But they train them that authorities and commands can be ignored. By repeating their requests at an ever-increasing volume, or by saying the child’s first, middle and last name with a staccato emphasis, or, perhaps worst of all, by just pretending they didn’t ask the child to do something, they train the child that authorities can be ignored without consequences.
(Aren’t you glad we are talking about “them” and not you and me?)
They teach their children that it is important to follow through on promises.
But they train them that the word of their primary authority has no meaning when they promise and don’t follow through with consequence promised for bad behavior.
They teach their children that self-control – a fruit of the spirit – is important.
But they train them, by their own lack of self-control, that when we get angry we can shout, act out and vent freely to express our anger or frustration.
They teach their children that church attendance is important.
But they train them that most any other Sunday event has priority and is sufficient reason to skip the assembly of God’s people.
They teach their children that “God is not mocked. What you sow you reap.”
But they train them that whining and complaining long enough will get you out of the consequence or punishment for misbehavior.
They teach their children it’s important to take responsibility for your actions.
But they train them that you can leave your toys, clothes and other things lying around and eventually someone will pick up after you.
They teach their children the importance of saving and earning.
But, they train them that frugality is foolish because when sibling A, who saved his money, is able to do something that sibling B can’t do because he recklessly spent everything he has, they give sibling B extra money because it just wouldn’t be fair if B had to miss out.
For better or worse, every parent trains their children. It’s important we think about the message we are sending and the training we are providing for our children. Can you think of other areas where “they” train them to do just the opposite of what they teach?
NOTE: Proverbs 22:6 can also produce a lot of guilt if your children are running from God.
God understands because He has prodigal children. Read more here.
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