They proudly told me, “We don’t look at our son’s text messages, Facebook, Instagram or other accounts. We think he needs his privacy.” Obviously these parents felt this was a sign of good parenting.
I agree a teen needs some privacy. But what they see as giving privacy is actually abandoning their son to walk alone in a minefield of incredible temptation.
An online world of endless perversion is stalking each of us on our phone and computer screen. You don’t have to look for it, it’s hunting you and will devour you if it can. (1 Peter 5:8)
This isn’t about privacy. This isn’t about trust. It’s about protection.
We all need people to hold us accountable. I’m 63 years old but my wife has full access to my phone, texts, online, anything.
It’s not because she doesn’t trust me. It’s because I don’t trust me. I know sin is still at work in me and “privacy” in these areas easily becomes access for the enemy.
So, whoever thinks he stands must be careful lest he fall. 1 Corinthians 10:12
Your teen needs you to protect him/her from those who desire to prey on them through social media, web sites, text messages and a variety of photo and phone apps.
Even more critical, they need you to protect them from themselves by making sure their online life is one of transparency and openness.
How can a parent do that?
I know of two families where the teens understand that at night the cell phones are left on the kitchen counter. Mom and dad have passwords and free access to texts, photos and apps. Computers, notebooks and other electronic devices are always open for inspection.
I also know the teens in these families and they don’t feel distrusted. They feel safe knowing mom and dad are aware of the dangers they face every day.
What if my teen doesn’t want to be “protected”?
Your teen needs you involved in their online life. But they don’t necessarily know it or want it. Even if you lovingly explain why it’s your responsibility to safeguard them they may scream “foul” and complain about it.
So what? This isn’t anything new. You’ve walked this path with them before.
Remember walking with them in a parking lot when they were a toddler? They wriggled and tried to get free from your grip so they could run ahead. But you held tightly to their hand no matter how much they squirmed or squealed. You knew there were dangers that they couldn’t comprehend.
Nothing has changed – except the dangers are more subtle and more enticing. Your teen still needs you to be the adult – to hold tightly to their hand because they can’t understand the dangers. If they did understand the danger, they wouldn’t complain.
Two are better than one, … but pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9 -12
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